I just don't get it.. People who has the purest of intention always get hurt in the end, deeply and again and again..
I see people who lie and uses other people, manipulates and twist and turn their way in getting what they want and they never get hurt. They ended up getting exactly what they want and ended up being happy. While people who don't have any bad intention and want nothing more than seeing the people that they love be happy and to make the people that they love happy, gets hurt and ended up being miserable.. And all their efforts and intention were not seen and thrown away just like that..
I'm beginning to doubt the definition of being strong.. What is it that being strong means?? Does being strong means holding on with a smile on your face when deep inside you're breaking, suffering, shattering.. And that when people that you trust and care about hurt you real bad, you accept it gracefully and still keep your head held high.. And when the same thing keeps happening to you again and again and again, you still hold on still believing in the goodness of people, only to get hurt endlessly from everyone you've ever cared about and ended up being so broken, traumatised that you just don't feel like you're human anymore.. Is that what being strong really means??
Or does being strong means doing whatever it takes to keep up with the world which just seems so cruel nowadays.. Which involve manipulating ppl, lying, using ppl and playing with ppl's feelings to get what you want? And since everyone seems to be evil like this, being strong means you fight to be the best at using and manipulating ppl? And in the end, its pure happiness that awaits you and you'll get everything you ever dream of? That seem to fit what being strong means..
Whatever it really means, if it's the first, I give up. I don't wanna be strong, I can't stand being strong anymore.. So just let me be however I am.. I just can't trust anyone anymore..